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IMPORTANT: This webpage is intended for the use of the individual reader & may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended reader, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this webpage is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use & may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this webpage, although the little yappy dog next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself & your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you & your pets. If you have read this webpage in error, please add some nutmeg & egg whites, whisk & place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.
IN ADDITION TO WHICH: Some government agency might someday require us to inform you of the following:
Notice: The most fundamental particles in the products that we sell / distribute / play with are held together by a "gluing" force about which little is known and whose adhesive power can therefore not be permanently guaranteed.
Important Notice to Users: The entire physical universe, and/or our photographs, including the information that we provide, may one day collapse back into an infinitesimally small space. Should another universe or Photographic company subsequently re-emerge, the existence of the services that we offer in his universe cannot be guaranteed.
Public Notice as (maybe soon) Required By Law: Any use of the services that we offer in any manner whatsoever may increase the amount of disorder in our universe. Although no liability is implied herein, the consumer is warned that this process may ultimately help lead to the heat death of the universe.
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In other words:
This document contains information which has nothing to do with you or anyone and even if it does we will deny it and you may be sued or terrorized by smart Suits with no morals and a strong sense of Latin so you are bloody fortunate to have got this far in this warning without having shiny suited geeks in tight pants banging on your door and dragging you off to court. By entering this site, the buyer represents that they have read the above information, are moderately human, and can read!
You have been warned!